More Than You Can Say by Paul Torday

Author:Paul Torday [TORDAY, PAUL]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: General & literary fiction
ISBN: 9780297858263
Publisher: Orion
Published: 2011-02-02T16:00:00+00:00

Thirteen

I don’t know how long I stood there, opening and shutting my mouth like a stranded fish. I took a step, and then another step, quite unable to think of what I should do next. My mind was utterly blank. Then a question formed in it, like a single message scrawled on a huge sheet of paper:

‘Did she run, or was she taken?’

I needed to do something. I could not stand here for the rest of my life. In any other emergency I had ever been in, training and reflexes took over. I never hesitated; I went straight into action. But not on this occasion. I tried to get a grip of myself and started to walk rapidly along Camden High Street in search of Adeena. As if I would find her, among ten million people. As if she wasn’t miles away by now, being carried off in a car, or walking rapidly away down side streets, doubling and turning to confuse any pursuer. After a few more moments I gave up and walked slowly back to my flat. There was no point in going anywhere else now.

When I arrived at the entrance to the flat the door was still locked. All the same, when I opened it and stepped inside I called out: ‘Adeena? Nadine?’

There was no answer.

I went into the sitting room, sat down in a chair near the window and tried to think. She wouldn’t have left me; someone had taken her. It must have been Aseeb. In a few minutes, when my heart had stopped racing, I would get up, go to Oxford and find that house again. Aseeb was no different to some of the people I’d dealt with in Baghdad. I could deal with him too. It wasn’t a great plan, but in my present state of mind I could not think of a better one.

Then a new thought struck me. She was gone: did it matter? Wasn’t that the idea? I should thank whoever had so neatly removed Adeena from my life. Yes, it was a bit brutal. But I had had no idea what to do about her. She was a problem. Of course, she was also my wife – legally or illegally – but easy come, easy go. Problem solved. Job done. Tomorrow I would use Aseeb’s money to pay off the arrears on my rent, and start looking for work.

I got up and went into the kitchen and put the kettle on. An image of Adeena talking to me on the train suddenly came into my mind, her body leaning forward, her face vivid and animated. It was as if I could reach out and touch her.

While I stood there waiting for the kettle to boil I realised that in the last few days Adeena had got inside my head in a way that nobody had done since Emma. There was no question about it: I had to find her, and bring her back.

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